A Dave Abustan short film featuring Matt Linsangan, Christine Tang, Jay Castro, and Frank Tarape.
Liquid Suave from Dave Abustan on Vimeo.
Kids are stupid. They can’t comprehend fear just yet. They do reckless things, hang out with equally stupid people, and buy ridiculous materials they do not need. But we’re young.
We’ve all done some stupid things in our lives. I’ve done some dumb, weird shit in my life—shit I already know I shouldn’t do, but I end up doing them anyways. I only know how to learn the hard way, and it’s only when I’ve committed that mistake do I’ve actually know not to do them. From going out with the wrong person to buying a dress I don’t need to cramming for a test the next day because I wanted to go out… Goodness only knows, I may or may not have already killed a man. I’ve also done some insanely stupid things when I was younger. A couple years ago my best friend and I walked around Vancouver. At one point, we ended up in East Hastings at 3 in the morning. We were lucky to leave that area without getting AIDs or stabbed, or stabbed with a knife that had AIDs on it.
Bottom line is, we all do some really weird, crazy stuff. There are some of us who want to go back to change what happened, and more than often, we’d want to go back in time to change the past so bad that we would sell our first-born just to have that chance. What I realized is, sometimes if we analyze our past and relate that back to where we are now, it’s for the good. If I didn’t meet that person, I wouldn’t have met this person and I wouldn’t have done this. If I didn’t do this, I wouldn’t have learned what I can become.
I don’t count all stupid things I’ve done as mistakes, nor would I go back in time to fix any of it. Although, if I could go back in time…
It feels like a never-ending road with blinking lights and flashy swirls of colour. Just when you finally see an exit and make that turn, you’re trapped in another cycle of sleepless nights and empty stomachs. Home is a distant thought. A bed is just a memory. You’re unrecognizable. Coffee and cigarettes are the only two senses you’re familiar with.
But look at all the cars around you. Traffic jam. I guess you’re not alone after all. Just keep pumping that music louder. At the very end is a glorious explosion of freedom and rest. We’re all just racing to catch a glimpse of it.
I feel dizzy.


The past couple of months have been crazy busy, and it’s not even summer yet. I have been going home only to sleep for the last couple of weeks. Whatever time I have to myself, I’m sleeping or recovering from the night before. Between juggling school work and justalilhype photo shoots, I still need to stay connected to my family and friends. And I wish I can be everywhere at once, but I can’t. I can’t be the person everyone wants me to be. I can’t be everywhere at once and I can’t be everyone’s someone. I’m going to have to let people down, say no, say goodbye, break some hearts, fall down, fail, hurt my ego, and be myself. All I can do is hope these people will take me as I am – small, quiet, swears a lot, eats even more, sleeps all the time, weird piercings, short hair, chest pains, ugly laugh, etc.
